One step closer to the edge..

So apparently my personality has changed once again according to my friends, yet I have not noticed at all...

Joy.. I really do not know what to type, I just know I must keep typing or I'll end up going outside and staying out all night by myself. 

So I suppose I'll talk about my day then..

My day so far has just been a ladder of events which have worsened as I climbed.

First off I was late for my college lecture which wasn't so much a problem as my information technology lecturer is an awesome guy. So I sat in I.T for an hour and a half wondering to myself how I would go about writing the next piece of code in the program I am currently creating as coursework for my computer science course, it's going pretty well, apart from this I was playing World of Warcraft the whole lecture and just answering questions from my lecturer every time that he thought that I was not listening.

After IT I had a two and a half hour break in which I sat in my computer science class working on my program and managed to add some errors to my error implementation log for my testing and evaluation, fun.. fun.. fun...

Okay, I cannot be bothered to describe my shitty day, it's 10 to 12 and I'm feeling rather sleepy..

Nighty night..

Keltan.

Rational Emotive Therapy - Psycho Therapy

After a very interesting psychology lecture today on the cognitive approach we were taught about rational emotive therapy which I will now refer to as (RET) as I really cannot be bothered to type out... Seriously.. No.

As somebody who has real issues with coping with emotion I found this extremely helpful so I thought I would share this with you even though I'm not entirely sure if it will make any sense, so here we go..


The main aim of RET is to replace irrational thinking with rational thinking, for example..

A person feels as if they must do well to be happy, if this person then doesn't do as well as the expectation that they set for them self then they will feel upset and this can lead to depression.

The therapist will attempt to replace the irrational thought of "I must do well in order to be happy" with a thought more rational such as "I didn't do too well, but I can't expect to succeed every time"

Although this may not completely remove these irrational thoughts it almost always decreased the frequency at which these thoughts occur (very helpful).

The fact is that it is not events that cause us to be unhappy but the beliefs we have of ourselves after an event then we have an emotional reaction to that belief causing the feeling of depression, this can be shown as a simple ABC model.

A - Event
B - Belief.                                                    
C - Consequence

A - Event takes place.
B - You form a belief based on the event.
C - As a result you have an emotional reaction to the belief.

A - Your boyfriend/girlfriend breaks up with you.
B - You then form a belief that it was your fault.
C - Your emotional reaction to this belief causes you to think of yourself in a negative way.

A therapist will ask you what you MUST achieve in order to be happy, for example "I must do well in everything in order to be happy." Then the therapist will say "Well why must you do well in order to be happy? Only you expect this of yourself." This is the basic procedure to change irrational thinking, the patient will then question their own beliefs and realise that they are irrational. The therapist will then help the patient think rational thoughts preventing them from having a negative emotional reaction.

My main point is that...

Life doesn't always work out the way you want it to..
Life doesn't HAVE to go your way..
And although life may suck at times and you may feel like ending it, life is almost always bearable and will start to look up eventually.

Keltan

The Oxidation Of Hearts Made From Iron...

So I've Been Playing This Game Called Rusty Hearts Recently, It's A MMORPG About Vampires Basically.. Although I Play As A Witch With A Massive Fuck Off Sword... WINNING.

The Game Pretty Much Works Around The Basis That You Go To A Dungeon, Kill Shit, Complete Dungeon, Level Up, Rinse And Repeat.

It's Surprisingly Good And Works Similarly To Dungeon Fighter, Devil May Cry, Final Fantasy And Street Fighter All Rolled Into One... It's Sexy.

If You'd Like To Find Out More Or Play This Game (Free To Download And Play) Head Over To Steam's Website And You Can Get Instructions From There.


Umm... There Was Something Else...


Oh Wait That's It..


GIRLS ARE FUCKING CONFUSING.



Keltan.

Think Different.

Hello world.

I've decided to share something that's very important to me as a person and most likely the majority of people out there.

First off I'll start with why I used the Apple inc. slogan for the title of this post. The first reason I chose this title was because it has an important meaning in my opinion, Apple as a company have not only changed the way the computing world works but also changed the way people think, Steve Jobs had not only created a company which would later grow to become one of the most successful businesses in history but he had also created a community, A community with it's own culture, it's own way of thinking, A community which people are proud to be a part of..

Community is a very strong tool, people want to feel like they belong, people want to be a part of something.. Apple created just that, A community of people who although may come from different backgrounds or different parts of the world all have one thing in common, they all have a love for technology.

Steve Jobs didn't set out to start a business, he set out to start a revolution, he set out to change the way people think.

The second reason I decided to give this post the title is because this has had a dramatic effect on the way I think about life, at the stanford commencement address in 2005 Steve Jobs gave a speech (I highly recommend watching/listening to this speech if you can). In this speech Steve Jobs told a story from when he was just 17 only a couple of months older than I am now, he said...

"When I was 17 I read a quote that went something like "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself, "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "no" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something."

So now every morning I ask myself the same question "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" It's really had an affect on me, I want to spend my life doing something that I love and I am lucky enough to be able to do that, at this moment in time I am a college student studying computer science and I'm loving every moment of it. I've also started a computing business in the field of software and application development for mobile computing devices such and mobile phones and tablet pc's although I am in the very early stages of development it's always good to be prepared and on that note a quote just popped into my head, I'm not quite sure where it's from but the quote is "Victory Loves Preparation" which in my opinion isn't a bad quote.

Although Steve Jobs has now left us, he died knowing that he had made his place in history and that he had created the revolution he had first set out to start, in the stanford commencement speech he said that when looking forward it is impossible to connect the dots, it is only possible to connect them looking backwards meaning when he first started apple in his parents garage he had no idea where it would take him, but what he did know was that he had faith and put his trust in himself to succeed, he knew what he wanted and he went out and got it.

Steve left behind a company which has changed and will continue to change the way people think and that is just what he wanted to achieve.

I'm only 16 but I want to get the best out of life, I want to become what Steve Jobs was.. A visionary.

So ask yourself, if you were to die today, would you die doing something you wanted to be doing?

All external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure.. these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

Just something to think about, Rest In Peace Steve.

Keltan.

ANIMAL PORN AMONGST OTHER THINGS...

BOOM!



So I'll Just Jump Right Into This And Keep Going Untill I Fall Asleep At My Desk And Hope To God I Wake Up In Time For College Tomorrow...



Right, I Know This Will Not Make Much Sense To Anyone Probably But I'll Type It Up And Hopefully Some Loser Will Understand, Email Me, Ask Me To Meet Up, Rape And Mur- Wait... Forget That, I'm Not Reading Any Emails From People I Don't Know.. Unless You Have A Job Offer In The Line Of Computer Science.. WINNING.



Stress Is A Bitch.



Now I Rarely Stress Over Things Which Is Probably Why This Has Hit Me So Hard To Be Honest..

Anyone Who Has Gone From Secondary School To College Will Know That They Make The First Month And A Bit Dead Easy To Lure You Into Their Trap, A Trap That Will Kill You If You Are Not Fully Preapred And For Your Information I AM NOT FREAKIN' PREPARED!!!!

The Amount Of Coursework I Have Been Given Is, Well.. LOTS! So I'll Need To Think Of A Plan To Organise My College Work And Fuck It.. I Really Need To Sleep... I Was Hoping That This Would Let Me Free My Mind Of Some Shit But No It's Just Killing Me..



*INSERT MENTAL BREAKDOWN*

I Give Up...  I Really Do Hate Life Sometimes, People Can't Be Happy For One Another, People Talk Shit, Spread Shit, Shit Shit, Eat Shit... The Worlds A Fucked Up Place And So Is My Mind At This Moment In Time..

I Need A Drink..

Make It Two Drinks And A Mars Bar..

Fuck It.. I'm Gone...

Night World, Sleep Tight... Or Watch Your Animal Porn You Sick Sadistic Bastards...

Keltan.

A Nightmare... In The Daytime.. While Fully Concious..

So.. I've Given Up On Trying To Write Properly, So I'm Back With My Habit Of Hitting Shift Before The Start Of Every Word, I've Also Decided That If You Do Not Like This You Can Type A More Interesting Address Into The URL Field Located (Usually) At The Top Of Your Browser.

Also Upon Looking At This Web Page You Guys At Blogspot May Wish To Check Your Security, I'm Not Going To Do Anything But Anyone Who Knows Anything About SQL Injections Could Do, Although You Seem Pretty Secure...

I've Been Feeling More Motivated Over The Past 3 Days, More Powerful As If I Can Make An Impact, I Just Need To Figure Out How.. Something Big Is Coming Soon, I Can Feel It..

On The Other Hand I've Been Becoming An Asshole According To Those Closest To Me, I Don't Like This But I Can't Seem To Find The Balance Between Being Motivated To Work And Being Friendly.. At This Moment It's Either One Or The Other.

So.. Life's A Confusing Thing, The Opposite Sex Are Even More Confusing And My Own Mind Is Much, Much More Confusing...

So World.. Go To Sleep.. It's Nearly 2 Am And You're Reading Some Loser's Blog.. Get A Life.

Stupid People.

Stupid people annoy me greatly and last night I discovered how much they annoy me, a lot has been going on in my life recently I've started speaking to some people who I had lost touch with which is always a nice thing, but tends to bring back memories that can often affect you in ways, ways that words cannot explain..

Anyway back to the point, all of this stuff has made me a little stressed which then has made me a bit grumpy turning me into a land mine that stupid people seem to step on quite frequently, idiots.

So I have decided to find some more intelligent people to speak with as they do not annoy me (unless they are pompous twats who can't speak a sentence without worshiping themselves) in other words I dislike stupid people as well as somewhat intelligent people who are like me.. Assholes.

I have come to notice I have been using some rather obscene language during this post, sorry, I shall refrain from doing so.

I'm going to cut this post short as I feel like throwing my laptop at the wall in anger...

Toodles!

Keltan.

Phase 1 Initiated..

Recently we have seen a lack of trust in our system, the goverment who we put our trust in to protect us have failed, the police force put in place to protect us has become corrupt, the newspapers and news channels from which we are supposed to hear truth from have been found guilty of hacking and bribery.

It's time we show our goverments that without us they have nothing, without the people who give them their power they have none, the goverment should learn to fear it's people as we are more powerful than them, we are their armies, we are their income, we are the goverment. It seems as if they have forgot about this, so starting on Saturday 30th of July, Operation Onslaught will begin, we will make our goverments aware of our power, aware that they are nothing without us and that lying to us was the wrong thing to do, breaching our personal secruity to give the newspapers something to write about.. well over the next year they'll have lots to write about as the resistance begins, they will learn that ideas are bulletproof and that if one of us falls ten more of us will rise.

This is our peaceful and legal protest, our revolution..

Some may think that we are hackers, criminals or thieves.. You are wrong.. We are omni-present, we are your friends and family, we work alongside you, we live nextdoor to you.. we're anybody and everybody who believes in the freedom of speech and expression, we believe in a honest world without corrupt polititions, police forces and news teams..



We believe knowledge should be free, do you?

It's time to take the fight offline..

EXPECT US.
http://www.whatis-theplan.org/

12 Days Of Hell...

16th Of July 2011, I return home to find something that hurt me deeply.. My wireless router was broken. That meant no Internet unless I was sitting downstairs connected via Ethernet cable to the modem, you probably won't know this but I dislike my whole house except for my bedroom, where I spend most, if not all of my time at home sitting at my desk typing away speaking to people or writing down things that pass through my mind...

So the lack of "Wi-Fi" was a harsh blow delivered by whichever halfwit in my house broke the router..

Thinking about it my bedroom isn't so much a "Bedroom" but more of a living room for me, I eat, rarely sleep and well.. Live in there making it my headquarters*Insert evil laugh*

So.. 12 days in to this nightmare and I've discovered two things..
Firstly, I sleep more without the Internet, and secondly I feel more alive, I'm starting to believe the absence of the Internet could be a good thing.. Temporarily.

I'm not quite sure what I'm doing at the moment so I think I'm going to end it here for now, I'll be back later...

Keltan.

A mix of lemonade and pineapple juice...

So.. after waking up from the lovely 4 hours sleep I had last night I'm feeling rather peckish, be right back...


... Okay I'm back.. With a ham roll and a glass of lemonade that I mixed with pineapple juice as the lemonade i have is 90% Carbon-dioxide, 9% Hydrogen hydroxide, 1% lemon flavouring and tastes like shit. Yeah, it only cost like 50 pence...

Moving on, yesterday was the release of Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows - Part 2 in cinema's across the UK, causing mayhem amongst children and adults alike. I happen to know a few people who are completely obsessed with the books and who also love the films, although from comments I have seen be made on facebook and twitter a lot of people read the 7th and last book in the Harry Potter series in time for the release of part 1, and now once again are reading it in time for part 2, the problem being that they read the book when it was released and then went on to read it at least another 2 times.. and now they realise that they already know the whole plot and how the film ends, and you can't really blame them, Harry Potter has been such a large part of our childhoods and as our childhood comes to an end, so does Harry Potter.

Which brings me to my next point, J.K.Rowling has managed to write 7 books in the Harry Potter series and each one has been a major success, why? Because J.K.Rowling knows that as time goes on things can become repetetive and tedious without excitement and suprise, which is exactly what we need in life to stop ourselves from becoming boring old people who do nothing but complain about the youth of today, but let me tell you one thing oldies... We choose your retirement homes, that is all I have to say to you.

Anyways, I became a little side-tracked there.. Suprise, Suprise is what gives us excitement and excitement is what keeps us sane, imagine a world where everyone did the same thing everyday, over months or even years.. It would be such a boring place, so go out, do something different with your life, I myself am trying my hand at blogging, I may be absolutely terrible but i'm giving it a go so that my mind doesn't decompose and rot away with boredom, I quite enjoy blogging as I can write anything I like and although nobody is going to be reading this it's a way of expressing myself and it's something I enjoy doing and I highly recommend you find something new to do that you enjoy.

Keltan.

10 Past 2...

It's been a long day to say the least..

I think I'll start with a little bit of a background story to the past 2 years of my life...

Here we go..

I've recently finished my GCSE exams and the holidays are beginning. I have no idea of what to expect from the next 6 weeks (although I can imagine it involving getting absolutely smashed and many of drunken trips home at 4:30 am... Parents will NOT be happy.).

Anyways, a load of stuff has been going through my mind over the past couple of months alot of it to do with school, alot of it to do with girls, yes girls.. the one most confusing yet so, so interesting alien race I have ever encountered, how can something be that inconvenient yet so addictive.

Over the past 2 years of my GCSE course in comprehensive school I have learnt one thing for sure, decision making is HARD! whether it be picking a course to gain a qualification or asking yourself whether or not you should speak to that girl you've been scoping out for the past couple of months. My best advice would be to go for it.. sure, you might not get onto the course you wanted to, or maybe the chick you liked turned out to be a total bitch. At least you tried, you may not have succeeded but you've proven to yourself that you're confident and have a little faith in yourself.

So where was I? Oh yes.. Today has been a long day...

After a rude awakening by my grandmother at approximately 7:30 am I was notified that I had to walk my younger cousin to school as my grandmother was running a little late today. Anyways at my cousins school they were carrying out a cycling proficiency test, as a result of this I had to find his bike.. NOT an easy job when you have no idea what it looks like and your cousin isn't being the most helpful child on the planet.

After walking him to school, I decided I'd grab some breakfast from the local bakery (Greggs) and I decided to buy myself 3, yes 3 sausage and bean pasties which I ate on the walk back home. I arrived at my grandmothers house, walked upstairs and pretty much stayed in the same position on my bed listening to music and writing some lyrics as I has nothing better to do while home alone. Interesting life I lead.. I know...

I'm currently feeling rather hungry so i'm going to dash downstairs and make myself a sandwhich.

Night Guys!

Keltan.